Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Chivalry is Dead ...

Chivalry is dead ... well, at least in small town North Carolina. (or perhaps all the chivalrous men are locked away at OCS with George!) Either way - I was in route to SC - a car packed full of stuff,  a newborn and a big puppy ... Nelson started screaming and needed to eat. Me, being the multi-tasker that I am, decided to stop at Applebee's (the only restaurant in town) so that I could feed him and myself at the same time! :)

Let me start by describing the scene ... I open the double doors to the restaurant -- everyone STARES! I'm sure my screaming newborn had something to do with it, haha! :) It was 4:30 in the afternoon and the bar was FULL! (I guess it was 5 o'clock somewhere?) I sit down as quickly as possible and pull out my nursing cover and begin feeding Nelson. BTW - Nursing covers are amazing!! If you didn't know what i was doing, you would think I just had HORRIBLE taste in shawls - haha! The very flamboyant waiter approaches my table and I apologize for Nelson's screaming and place my order. His response "oh girl, it's ok - my momma had 5 babies on her breast!". Haha. Priceless. So besides the stares - dinner was pretty uneventful. It's after dinner that the chaos began....

I go back to the car, let Niles out to use the restroom and walk around, strap Nelson in and we're ready to take off. Only problem is ... the car won't start. CRAP. I must have left the lights on. So the next scene plays out like this ...

Step 1. I panic - and then I remember I have triple A. Whew.

Step 2. I call them - they tell me its a 2 hour wait. I mean seriously - how many people have dead batteries in this podunk town? Apparently quite a few.

Step 3. I cry.

Step 4. I take Nelson back out of the car seat and ask these two big burly mountain looking men if they could help me jump my car .... now remember I have a newborn baby in my hands and tears running down my face. They say no - they don't know how! Really? They don't know how? See, dead. Chivalry is dead. They certainly weren't my knights in shining armor!

Step 5. I go into the restaurant and ask the hostess if one of the guys in the back could help me ... Strike Two. They didnt know how either. I think they were just lazy...

Step 6. I cry some more. At this point I'm thinking "George, you were right". (which i don't say often, haha).  I should have listened more closely when he tried to teach me how to change oil, fix tires and jump batteries.

Step 7: A waitress pulls up in her huge TRUCK and asks if she can help me! She whips out the jumper cables - hooks them up and presto!! We're on the road again!! :) My knight in shining armor was a lesbian woman with a truck! :) Perfect.

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