Friday, June 3, 2011

In the moment.

"Children have neither past nor future;
they enjoy the present, which very few of us do."
-Jean de la Bruyere


I find it hard to live in the present.

I try.
I really, really try.
I like to think that I'm spontaneous.
a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl ...
a go with the flow, everything goes, up for anything kind of woman.

but in reality --
I'm always planning ahead ...
always thinking "what if" ...
always wondering "what's next" ...

and that's a good thing, right?
because those extra fruit snacks I threw in my purse on the way out the door -
or that stash of "emergency" diapers in my trunk --
have really avoided some temper tantrums or "dirty situations"! :)
kidding. kidding.
That's not what I mean.
That's just being a Mom.

I'm talking about really enjoying the moments.
Not stressing about the future.
Just living.
experiencing life.

It's SO easy to say --
and no where near so easy to do.

Case in point.

We're a Navy Family -
which means that we're always moving.

Yup - we're moving again!
{didn't you just move, you ask?}
YES! We did!
We moved to Florida last June --
and this is our second city in Florida in one year.
but now we're moving AGAIN!
This time to Texas!
{but only for 6 months}
then we're moving AGAIN!

The hubs starts his new school on June 13th ..
but we're still waiting on orders --
which if you are familiar with the military --
orders are gold.
You can't do ANYTHING without orders!
You can't schedule movers.
You can't get on the housing waiting list.

You just wait.
So we're waiting ....
and waiting ....
and we have been waiting for about 2 weeks ...
and don't get me wrong --
I'm totally enjoying our days off with the family!
REALLY enjoying them actually!!

But in the back of my mind --
at the end of the day ---
I always find myself planning....
imagining every possible situation!
Stressing. Just a little.

I spend my evenings scouring the Internet for rental houses -
hoping they will still be available when we get there.
praying that base housing opens up...
hoping we can get movers in time--
movers that won't steal our stuff.
{yes, that happened last time!}
Arranging the furniture in my head ...
in a house we don't even have yet.
dreading unpacking - AGAIN.
and already stressing about the NEXT move!
{in another six months}

Then I find myself asking the same questions ....
will a 2 bedroom house really be OK?
{I mean, it's just 6 months, right?!}
Where will we go to church?
Will we make friends as good as we have here?
Am I a bad mom for not wanting to unpack the picture frames?
{again, it's only 6 months!}
How will Nelson adjust?
{will he even notice?}
Will the hubs REALLY study more than he did before?
{is that even possible?}

and I get overwhelmed.
and I stay up all night stressing.

but why?
It's all out of my control!!

So I'm trying ....
I'm really trying to enjoy these moments.
These moments of waiting.
These moments we're all together.
These moments as a family of 3.5! :)
... without stressing about the future ...
{even if the future is in 5 days!}

because hey --
if you want to hear God laugh,
tell Him your plans.

amen to that.
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1 comment:

  1. Have you considered a different format for your blog? I love hearing about your little family and your crafts but I find your site difficult to read with everything being centered. Actually at first I thought everything you were writing was poems, ha!


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